Each year it gets harder limiting this list to a mere 30 songs: so many repeat offenders never tire of producing bad musov.
A few superlatives: four former year-end "champions" are back. The overall tally now has clear daylight between the top two artists...both prominent this year again.
Here is the list:
1. Playdough Cooked In Tea (Me & Me):
literally a mini-EP full of the same sentence and drawn out horribly that not even IceJJFish could top. Very disturbing too.
2. Mans Not Hot (Big Shaq):
every half-assed rapper wants to be Jamaican relevant.
3. Ice On Me (IceJJFish):
last year’s worst find back with a vengeance.
4. Ohio Fried Chicken (Jake Paul):
at first I thought this was satire but the dangerous thing about Paul is that he’s dead serious with this shit.
5. Rake It Up (Yo Gotti feat. Nicki Minaj):
why is Nicki still on these failed thirst-trap projects.
6. Its Everyday Bro (Jake Paul):
the Donald Trump of pop music this year.
7. Bingo (Jacob Sartorious):
get ready to laugh—but not the good type of laugh.
8. Her Knight (IceJJFish):
more retarded foolishness.
9. I Love You Bro (Jake Paul):
the sentiment is noted but trashiness undeniable.
10. The Bone (IceJJFish):
deliberate crap.
11. Creature (KSI):
would be higher but, mercifully, it’s a short song.
12. Saturday Night (Jake Paul):
this type of culture appropriation should be illegal.
13. I’m A Lady (Meghan Trainor):
her wretchedness is unending.
14. Sheet (Spice):
this from a so-called feminist?
15. DN Freestyle (Lil Yachty):
a song that mentions turning someone’s mom into a pedophile…immediate pass.
16. Karate (Soulja Boy):
he’s not even trying here.
17. Just Like That (IceJJFish):
pointless.
18. Hit Em With The Draco (Soulja Boy):
a diss track that, alas, will in turn get dissed by critics…like what I’m doing right now.
19. Juice (Lady Leshurr):
well, at least the beat is good.
20. Hands Hurt (Soulja Boy):
his thin-rap formula refuses to let up.
21. Peek A Boo (Lil Yachty):
prime example why thirst rap is failing.
22. Break Up Every Night (The Chainsmokers):
how they can follow up a line like, “she wants to break up every night” with, “then tries to fuck me back to life” is beyond reason.
23. Blame It On You (Charli XCX):
still shamelessly trying—and failing—to be Billboard pop relevant.
24. Boys (Charli XCX):
pointless repetition.
25. Middle Fingers (MISSIO):
painful to listen right through.
26. Body Like A Back Road (Sam Hunt):
the ludicrous result when country meets, gulp, bro-rap.
27. Bud Like You (AJR):
this type of bro-rap should only be heard at football matches.
28. Bloodstream (The Chainsmokers):
they say self-diagnosing oneself is the first step.
29.
The Last Text (Jacob Sartorious): tries to be mature but a song about text messaging…oy.
30. Weak (AJR):
the brothers feel harmonizing choruses can cover up…no they can’t.
ignored by the North American critics but rightly lorded in England where his outstanding debut, PROCESS, won the Mercury Prize. Now watch this star rise...
daring to release three (3) albums in one year gets you noticed and even they are brash frat guys, there's enough promise here to stay tuned.
as I stated last year, that voice is gorgeous.
interesting proto-rock/funk hybrid going on here.
in light of Lauryn Hill constantly not showing up, I'm all for Rapsody to fill that spot.
when even the Grammys gets it right then you know the stars are aligning properly.
all EPs should be this strong and full of heavy rock grooves.
chilled out music at its finest.
your average shitty US pop-rock band wishes it could rock so nicely.
nearly 16 and already she's putting the likes of Lana Del Rey to shame.
