'The Hardest Button To Button": THE TOP 30 WORST SONGS OF 2019...

Sunday, December 1, 2019

THE TOP 30 WORST SONGS OF 2019...

As the decade comes to a close, here we get another batch of wretched songs, soon to be forgotten thankfully.

As I stated last year, I try to identify the main trend as to why the music is so wretched and with the vast majority of tracks this year are hip/hop-based, it's clear to identify the main culprit: weak rappers.

The hero in pop culture music is rap so it reckons everyone and their crew, regardless of skill or genius, wants in.

This year's list proves that, in wild varying degrees, they've failed but do not care. The millennium fan focuses less on quality but quantity and PR reps and marketing gurus know this. Therefore, every male rapper smokes, wears chains and is a pussy guzzler. The woman, twerk aggressively, wear skin-tight clothes and well, gyrate their private parts. For us critics though, the task is to keep them all earnest.

Here is the list:

1.Earth (Lil Dicky):

sometimes having good intentions make things worse. Earth is a mess, made worse by the lyrics intended to be easily understood and sung along with. Not sure why the many guests signed up for the train-wreck but their presence doesn't help either.

2. Butterfly Doors (Lil Pump):

one in the long line of a tired trend of bad rappers repeating one phrase and expecting magic.

3. Be Like Me (Lil Pump feat. Lil Wayne):

Lil Wayne should know better but then again so should any media format exposing us to this shit.

4. Racks On Racks (Lil Pump):

consistent horribleness.

5. Boats 4 Vegas (Stunna 4 Vegas feat. Lil Yachty):

Lil Yachty just doesn’t quit in his quest to be a perpetual four rate rapper.

6. Zombie (Kodak Black feat. NLE Choppa & DB Omerta):

this sounds like rejected outtakes and straight up bad ideas.

7. Your Mr. (Lady Leshurr):

it wouldn’t be a trash list without Leshurr’s struggling to sound hardcore.

8. Robbery (Juice WRLD):

here’s a pretty good reason why mediocre rappers should never try to actually sing.

9. Way Too Much (Justin Roberts):

more Youtube trash thinking an expensive video budget equates good music.

10. I Got You (IceJJFish):

his blandness is insidious.

11. I Want U (IceJJFish):

um, no!

12. Pimpin Ain't Eazy (Kodak Black):

apparently so is trying to put out decent music!

13. Thotiana (Soulja Boy):

when the diss track is just as forgettable as it’s intended prey…

14. Why Are We So Broken (Steve Aoki feat. Blink 182):

utterly soul-less.

15. Old Town Road (Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus):

nothing sells like controversy in America and here is 2019's main example. It doesn't matter which version i've heard, the guest verse, it's still all one pathetic mess.

16. Small Talk (Katy Perry):

small ideas, small thinking.

17. Genie (Spice):

still stuck in her own private parts I see.

18. 2 Dollar Bill (2 Chainz feat. Lil Wayne & E-40):

sounds just around how much this track is worth.

19. Be Nice (Black Eyed Peas feat. Snoop Dogg):

all this conscious rap is starting to grate my nerve.

20. Started (Iggy Azalea):

big yawn.

21. I Don't Care (Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber):

naturally Sheeran tries his hand at white-boi reggae and ends up in sure karaoke territory.

22. Exclusive (Govana):

trying to change his flow up but the misogyny is cluttering.

23. Put A Date On It (Yo Gotti feat. Lil Baby):

stupid, stupid, stupid.

24. Panini (Lil Nas X):

the cringe-worthy lyrics aside, his vocal delivery does nothing but put one to sleep. And yet, it’s still not the worst thing we've heard from him all year.

25. Clap Back (Iggy Azealea):

for a song about trying to get its due this is incredibly weak.

26. Never Really Over (Katy Perry):

time hasn't been kind to Perry's blue-eyed pop oeuvre because she refuses to construct sensible bridges to connect her ideas and that's why this track is so tepid.

27. Girls Have Fun (Tyga feat. Rich The Kid & G-Easy):