2019: Top 10 Most Disappointing Albums...

Another year of records that should have been on my best albums list. Alas, here we are:









1. Panda Bear Buoys:

when the most creative artist releases an album that finds no footing or spots of joy, the world becomes a darker place.






2. Kanye West Jesus Is King:

it could have actually been worse but that’s not saying much.






3. Divino Nino Foam:

I’m actually foaming at the mouth at this aimless lump.






4. Chance the Rapper The Big Day:

if ever an album title got it dead wrong then it was this one.






5. Blood Orange Angel’s Pulse:

a mixtape but an unspectacular one.






6. Brother Ali Secrets & Escapes:

weary braggadocio.






7. Schoolboy Q Crash Talk:

the sound of Q finally flailing around.






8. Vampire Weekend Father Of The Bride:

still baffled that this boring album took so long.






9. Solange When I Get Home:

it’s as if she forgot the actual songs this time around.






10. Jesca Hoop Stonechild:

decent effort but a little plain.

2019: THE BEST NEW/EMERGING ARTISTS...

This year was a rare occurrence: all of the artists that made the list have albums on my top 30 albums list. This means the year was stacked with talent and it was awesome to see that women lead the way.

Here goes:




TOP OF THE CLASS:


Jamila Woods:

been around a while and with acclaim but all that has been deservedly dwarfed by her fierce project this year Legacy! Legacy! Here
we have the great tribute to pioneering black men and women.







The best of the rest:






Weyes Blood:

it takes courage to slowly find the inner voice that carries you to the direction where others in the genre are scared from going to. That's what Weyes Blood is doing right now.





Lizzo:

while some cite Lizzo-fatigue, I can't get enough of it now. No matter how you feel about her it's undeniable that her album this year deserves every plaudit and award it's getting.





Nilufer Yanya:

confidently carving out her own unique space in pop.





Koffee:

a much needed shot in the arm for how women can defy reggae/dancehall odds to provide great quality music.





Nakhane:

proving that even though forces around him tried to keep him down, with that angelic voice, he is simply soaring.





Lafawndah:

giving an otherworldly spin on pop.





King Princess:

the way she harnesses her gender fluidity into the spaces of her lyrical expression is totally for the moment.





Michael Kiwanuka:

now he'll be able to get out from under being only known as the guy who sings the intro to Big Little Lies.





Marika Hackman:

finally, a young woman singing about her unabashed queer experiences.

Top 10 Worst Films of 2019 (That I Saw):

I don't watch a lot of bad films on purpose and neither tarry on this list so here goes:








1. Child’s Play (directed by Lars Klevberg):

a decidedly unfunny sorta reboot that must grate on the nerve of the original series.





2. Good Boys (directed by Gene Stupnitsky):

very unfunny and offensive.





3. Isn’t It Romantic? (directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson):

a literal walking cliché in every frame.





4. The Dead Don't Die (directed by Jim Jarmusch):

this horrible film needed to die while in its conception stage.





5. The Intruder (directed by Deon Taylor):

cliché and ridiculously acted.





6. A Madea Family Funeral (directed by Tyler Perry):

hopefully we’re at the end of all this.





7. The Final Wish (directed by Timothy Woodward Jr,):

oy vey.





8. Shazam (directed by David Sandberg):

how did this clear marketing?





9. Brightburn (directed by David Yarovesky):

incomplete and rather pointless.





10. Don’t Let Go (directed by Jacob Aaron Estes):

a hugely problematic film that mixes time loops so bizarrely that you wish they’d all just remain dead.

THE TOP 30 WORST SONGS OF 2019...

As the decade comes to a close, here we get another batch of wretched songs, soon to be forgotten thankfully.

As I stated last year, I try to identify the main trend as to why the music is so wretched and with the vast majority of tracks this year are hip/hop-based, it's clear to identify the main culprit: weak rappers.

The hero in pop culture music is rap so it reckons everyone and their crew, regardless of skill or genius, wants in.


This year's list proves that, in wild varying degrees, they've failed but do not care. The millennium fan focuses less on quality but quantity and PR reps and marketing gurus know this. Therefore, every male rapper smokes, wears chains and is a pussy guzzler. The woman, twerk aggressively, wear skin-tight clothes and well, gyrate their private parts. For us critics though, the task is to keep them all earnest.


Here is the list:






1.Earth (Lil Dicky):

sometimes having good intentions make things worse. Earth is a mess, made worse by the lyrics intended to be easily understood and sung along with. Not sure why the many guests signed up for the train-wreck but their presence doesn't help either.






2. Butterfly Doors (Lil Pump):

one in the long line of a tired trend of bad rappers repeating one phrase and expecting magic.






3. Be Like Me (Lil Pump feat. Lil Wayne):

Lil Wayne should know better but then again so should any media format exposing us to this shit.






4. Racks On Racks (Lil Pump):

consistent horribleness.






5. Boats 4 Vegas (Stunna 4 Vegas feat. Lil Yachty):

Lil Yachty just doesn’t quit in his quest to be a perpetual four rate rapper.






6. Zombie (Kodak Black feat. NLE Choppa & DB Omerta):

this sounds like rejected outtakes and straight up bad ideas.






7. Your Mr. (Lady Leshurr):

it wouldn’t be a trash list without Leshurr’s struggling to sound hardcore.






8. Robbery (Juice WRLD):

here’s a pretty good reason why mediocre rappers should never try to actually sing.






9. Way Too Much (Justin Roberts):

more Youtube trash thinking an expensive video budget equates good music.






10. I Got You (IceJJFish):

his blandness is insidious.








11. I Want U (IceJJFish):

um, no!






12. Pimpin Ain't Eazy (Kodak Black):

apparently so is trying to put out decent music!






13. Thotiana (Soulja Boy):

when the diss track is just as forgettable as it’s intended prey…






14. Why Are We So Broken (Steve Aoki feat. Blink 182):

utterly soul-less.






15. Old Town Road (Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus):

nothing sells like controversy in America and here is 2019's main example. It doesn't matter which version i've heard, the guest verse, it's still all one pathetic mess.






16. Small Talk (Katy Perry):

small ideas, small thinking.






17. Genie (Spice):

still stuck in her own private parts I see.






18. 2 Dollar Bill (2 Chainz feat. Lil Wayne & E-40):

sounds just around how much this track is worth.






19. Be Nice (Black Eyed Peas feat. Snoop Dogg):

all this conscious rap is starting to grate my nerve.






20. Started (Iggy Azalea):

big yawn.








21. I Don't Care (Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber):

naturally Sheeran tries his hand at white-boi reggae and ends up in sure karaoke territory.






22. Exclusive (Govana):

trying to change his flow up but the misogyny is cluttering.







23. Put A Date On It (Yo Gotti feat. Lil Baby):

stupid, stupid, stupid.






24. Panini (Lil Nas X):

the cringe-worthy lyrics aside, his vocal delivery does nothing but put one to sleep. And yet, it’s still not the worst thing we've heard from him all year.






25. Clap Back (Iggy Azealea):

for a song about trying to get its due this is incredibly weak.






26. Never Really Over (Katy Perry):

time hasn't been kind to Perry's blue-eyed pop oeuvre because she refuses to construct sensible bridges to connect her ideas and that's why this track is so tepid.






27. Girls Have Fun (Tyga feat. Rich The Kid & G-Easy):

we’ve heard this crap before and done much better.






28. Light It Up (Marshmello feat. Tyga & Chris Brown):

two fading talents do not equate to an acceptable one.






29. Tia Tamera (Doja Cat feat. Rico Nasty):

it's really been quite the year for questionable black rap talent.






30. It’s My Dog Birthday (T-Pain):

so, we’re singing about a dog’s birthday now, eh.