Sunday, December 4, 2011

2011: The Top 10 Worst Films:

No words really need expounded upon this list: here are really bad films and no explanation for their existence can suffice. To be fair however, there may have been equally bad films released towards the end of the year but one can only watch so many and then decide to spare one's self of the rest. Chances are I skipped anything Adam Sandler did, hence his absence here. Here goes:

1. Conan The Barbarian:

from its incredibly tacky beginning to it's cliched end, this was the most witless film I had the misfortune to see all year.

2. 11-11-11:

I knew it'd be bad going in---as if naming as film off a date wasn't just amateurish enough--but the second-hand quality of the film was what truly damned it.

3. The Green Hornet:

there sometimes I think Seth rogen makes thing critic job way too easy.

4. Abduction:

in which Lautner forgets that he isn't a werewolf in real life and fucks up an entire movie that was ridiculous already.

5. Red Riding Hood:

initially I had hoped this would have some general sluttiness or porn but, alas, this B film never takes its head out of its own ass long enough to generate any interest.

6. Season of The Witch:

like, seriously, what would a year-end list be without Nicholas Cage?!

7. Trespass:

a double dose of Cage and, alas, Nicole Kidman...who really should have known better.

8. Final Destination 5:

remember that episode of Sex in The City where Samantha tells the girls that the latest the numeral before a man's name, the worse off he is in bed? Well, same thing here for this film...

9. Scream 4:

that it took so long for this sequel should have been a big enough tip-off for anyone still hung up on this cheesefest series.

10. Madea’s Big Happy Family:

can't we just stage a #occupy Madea strike to force Tyler Perry to quit now?