Sunday, December 2, 2012

2012: The Top 10 Worst Films (that I saw)

Bad films are a part of our lives—its best to just acknowledge that and move on. This list is far from concrete because like any self-respecting critic, I do not watch bad films on purpose. So, after I reached a certain quota then I stopped watching. Surely there are worst films released subsequently but I never set eyes on them. Here’s the unfortunate viewing experiences of 2012:

1. The Dictator (directed by Larry Charles):

Sacha Baron Cohen’s search for satire in a post Borat world has been downright ridiculous and this is his ultimate worst attempt at relevance until, well, perhaps whatever he’s planning next. (METACRITIC SCORE: 5.8/10)

2. Snow White & The Huntsman (directed by Rupert Sanders):

the film’s body politic surrounding the queen and Snow White remains strange even up to its dull conclusion. The director, Rupert Sanders (in his debut) is not concerned with transcendence but more so that you get the generic point of how life-sapping the queen is…as if somehow you’re in danger of ever forgetting it. Snow White and the Huntsman never looks back to see how Ravenna gets to be the monster that she becomes, just a brief glimpse on the effect of her own mother’s words and charms upon her.

3. Gone (directed by Heitor Dhalia):

where, once again, with incredibly cheesy writing, Amanda Seyfried is the undeniable weakest link in a film where she was the star. (METACRITIC SCORE: 3.6/10)

4. Silent Hill: Revelation 3D (directed by Michael J. Bassett):

even in 3D this is by far the worst attempt at horror this year. The premise is now worn out and with the cult defeated, please no more Alessa! (METACRITIC SCORE: 1.5/10)

5. Ted (directed by Seth McFarlane):

a massive hit and one I looked forward too but by the time Ted uttered the first words, I knew I’d end up hating it. What could have been a tale of co-dependency turns out into a corny, horny romp through adult life. Ugh, lets hope McFarlane doesn’t pull too many references of it at next year’s Oscars. (METACRITIC SCORE: 6.2/10)

6. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (directed by Brian Taylor & Mark Neveldine):

it wouldn’t be an annual worst film list without Nicholas Cage… (METACRITIC SCORE: 3.2/10)

7. One For the Money (directed by Julie Anne Robinson):

Katherine Heigl plays a sorta cop tracking down a former lover whom she may very well be in love with still. The ensuing triteness is enough to make one weep from boredom. (METACRITIC SCORE: 2.2/10)

8. Dark Tide (directed by John Stockwell):

the trailer for Dark Tide is pretty good at deceiving one with what’s going on. One expects some gripping sea saga but what the trailer can’t hide is Halle Berry. Yet again, Berry has found herself in a schizophrenic film with choppy, cheap action and her own questionable acting doesn’t help much. The film, on another note, hasn’t even made half a million at the box office despite being made for $25 million. (METACRITIC SCORE: 2.3/10)

9. The Possession (directed by Ole Bornedal):

Sam Raimi has been involved with exceptionally cheesy and bad horror films for a while now so when I saw that he was the producer of this, expectations were low. The film, based on a real-life event, follows a family dealing to reclaim the soul of the daughter after she accidentally opens a dybbuk box. The spirit gets out, makes mischief and blah blah blah. (METACRITIC SCORE: 4.5/10)

10. Alex Cross (directed by Rob Cohen):

Tyler Perry may be a heavyweight behind the camera for the average movie-goer but even that target audience didn’t like this much. The film has run into a $10 million deficit at the box office and after a few minutes its easy to see why. Perry is so bad as an actor that half-way through—while I was still waiting for anything to happen—I started to pine for Madea. Let us just hope they recast the character for the next film. (METACRITIC SCORE: 3/10)