THE TOP 30 WORST SONGS OF 2019...

As the decade comes to a close, here we get another batch of wretched songs, soon to be forgotten thankfully.

As I stated last year, I try to identify the main trend as to why the music is so wretched and with the vast majority of tracks this year are hip/hop-based, it's clear to identify the main culprit: weak rappers.

The hero in pop culture music is rap so it reckons everyone and their crew, regardless of skill or genius, wants in.


This year's list proves that, in wild varying degrees, they've failed but do not care. The millennium fan focuses less on quality but quantity and PR reps and marketing gurus know this. Therefore, every male rapper smokes, wears chains and is a pussy guzzler. The woman, twerk aggressively, wear skin-tight clothes and well, gyrate their private parts. For us critics though, the task is to keep them all earnest.


Here is the list:






1.Earth (Lil Dicky):

sometimes having good intentions make things worse. Earth is a mess, made worse by the lyrics intended to be easily understood and sung along with. Not sure why the many guests signed up for the train-wreck but their presence doesn't help either.






2. Butterfly Doors (Lil Pump):

one in the long line of a tired trend of bad rappers repeating one phrase and expecting magic.






3. Be Like Me (Lil Pump feat. Lil Wayne):

Lil Wayne should know better but then again so should any media format exposing us to this shit.






4. Racks On Racks (Lil Pump):

consistent horribleness.






5. Boats 4 Vegas (Stunna 4 Vegas feat. Lil Yachty):

Lil Yachty just doesn’t quit in his quest to be a perpetual four rate rapper.






6. Zombie (Kodak Black feat. NLE Choppa & DB Omerta):

this sounds like rejected outtakes and straight up bad ideas.






7. Your Mr. (Lady Leshurr):

it wouldn’t be a trash list without Leshurr’s struggling to sound hardcore.






8. Robbery (Juice WRLD):

here’s a pretty good reason why mediocre rappers should never try to actually sing.






9. Way Too Much (Justin Roberts):

more Youtube trash thinking an expensive video budget equates good music.






10. I Got You (IceJJFish):

his blandness is insidious.








11. I Want U (IceJJFish):

um, no!






12. Pimpin Ain't Eazy (Kodak Black):

apparently so is trying to put out decent music!






13. Thotiana (Soulja Boy):

when the diss track is just as forgettable as it’s intended prey…






14. Why Are We So Broken (Steve Aoki feat. Blink 182):

utterly soul-less.






15. Old Town Road (Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus):

nothing sells like controversy in America and here is 2019's main example. It doesn't matter which version i've heard, the guest verse, it's still all one pathetic mess.






16. Small Talk (Katy Perry):

small ideas, small thinking.






17. Genie (Spice):

still stuck in her own private parts I see.






18. 2 Dollar Bill (2 Chainz feat. Lil Wayne & E-40):

sounds just around how much this track is worth.






19. Be Nice (Black Eyed Peas feat. Snoop Dogg):

all this conscious rap is starting to grate my nerve.






20. Started (Iggy Azalea):

big yawn.








21. I Don't Care (Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber):

naturally Sheeran tries his hand at white-boi reggae and ends up in sure karaoke territory.






22. Exclusive (Govana):

trying to change his flow up but the misogyny is cluttering.







23. Put A Date On It (Yo Gotti feat. Lil Baby):

stupid, stupid, stupid.






24. Panini (Lil Nas X):

the cringe-worthy lyrics aside, his vocal delivery does nothing but put one to sleep. And yet, it’s still not the worst thing we've heard from him all year.






25. Clap Back (Iggy Azealea):

for a song about trying to get its due this is incredibly weak.






26. Never Really Over (Katy Perry):

time hasn't been kind to Perry's blue-eyed pop oeuvre because she refuses to construct sensible bridges to connect her ideas and that's why this track is so tepid.






27. Girls Have Fun (Tyga feat. Rich The Kid & G-Easy):

we’ve heard this crap before and done much better.






28. Light It Up (Marshmello feat. Tyga & Chris Brown):

two fading talents do not equate to an acceptable one.






29. Tia Tamera (Doja Cat feat. Rico Nasty):

it's really been quite the year for questionable black rap talent.






30. It’s My Dog Birthday (T-Pain):

so, we’re singing about a dog’s birthday now, eh.

THE TOP 10 BEST FILMS OF 2018...

Now that the Oscar nominations are out and speculation rife, here are my picks for the best films of the previous year:









1. Roma (directed by Alfonso Cuarón):

'Roma' may be Cuaron's most personal film to date but it doesn't hide its flaws in looking back. Shot in black & white (wise choice) and pristinely detailed, Cuaron channels so much old-school and new-school processes into one singular vision. This sounds, in theory, like it's easy to execute but it takes a master to self-edit as he goes along. Not only a great film but, as it inevitably inches towards Best Picture Oscar territory, it's perceived as important as well.






2. The Favourite (directed by Yorgos Lanthimos):

though i've never been a fan of Yorgos Lanthimos i'm the first to admit that dude has a distinct point of view. 'The Favourite' however has elevated him to his highest yet: shot like a 1990s music video, the director gets career performances from Colman, Stone and especially Weisz and puts libertine English values on show. Scrumptious.






3. Isle Of Dogs (directed by Wes Anderson):

Wes Anderson is on such a roll that at this stage we not question his choices.






4. The Wild Pear Tree (directed by Nuri Bilge Ceylan):

usually films examining a legacy begin at the parent's death but 'The Wild Pear Tree' doesn't take the easy route; Sinan's dad is very much alive as is all the debts he has amassed in pursuit of his dreams. But now it's all blocking Sinan's dreams and what ensues is deeply personal and mesmerizing to watch.






5. Spiderman (directed by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman): Into The Spider-verse:

you've been hearing for months now how great this is so just believe the hype if you haven't seen it yet.






6. Green Book (directed by Peter Farrelly):

takes around an hour to really kick in--once Dr. Shirley begins to fight back against the racism faced--that 'Green Book' takes off into a totally different animal, and for the better too.






7. First Reformed (directed by Paul Schrader):

a priest goes off the rails as everything crumbles on him. It's a stunning performance by Ethan Hawke.






8. A Quiet Place (directed by John Krasinski):

a wordless horror film? you bet and it speaks volumes too.






9. Eighth Grade (directed by Bo Burnham):

it's taken a while but here at last is the vulnerability of the Instagram age.






10. If Beale Street Could Talk (directed by Barry Jenkins):

the tenderness of black love is rarely put on screen but here Barry Jenkins puts his considerable vision on show.

The Top 30 ALBUMS of 2018: Part Two (#1--10)...

A stunning year for the album, especially for deeply personal issues thrust out there. Here are the ten best...

1.Serpent With Feet Soil:

LGBT artists have been putting out striking personal documents for the better part of the decade but perhaps none more daring that Soil, a stunning debut from Josiah Wise that seems to be putting a enchanting spell on his beloved. Every track tackles a different perspective to his lover that coming out and joining him into this new gay light is what’s best…and we listen throughout awaiting a reply.

2. The Internet Hive Mind:

The Internet’s main bag has long been trying to keep a foot in so many genres that the genres themselves become useless. Here they still dip into smooth R&B, as in “Stay the Night,” and funky dance tracks like “Roll (Burbank Funk)” and bossa nova like “La Di Da,” but it all serves their greater, unified sound. Hive Mind is the full realization of what the Internet has been reaching for since their inception: They have finally become a genre unto themselves. (PITCHFORK)

3. Janelle Monae Dirty Computer:

For Janelle Monáe, a queer black woman, to exist is to be political. Dirty Computer is an exploration of and homage to that politicization, and as the year has progressed, the need for it has only become more apparent. ICE is keeping brown and black children in cages, the NRA continues to arm the most dangerous community (white men), and the Department of Health and Human Services is attempting to erase transgender individuals with oppressive and factually inaccurate language. Monáe’s fourth studio album is the musical embodiment of our responses to all of this. (COMPLEX)

4. Noname Room 25:

By the sound of Room 25, Chicago spitter Noname has spent her time since 2016’s Telefone crafting a project that low-key feels like her Voodoo. Her wicked pen found a way to build upon the foundation of Telefone, diving headfirst into hypnotic live instrumentation with introspective, unapologetic lyrics. She might not have gotten D’Angelo in the flesh on “Don’t Forget About Me,” but she definitely channeled his spirit, bringing a neo-Soulquarian vibe in the best way. In other places, especially “Blaxploitation,” Noname sifts through the lines on her pad to find the route to racial identity in a nation that shits on practically anything black. Other standouts on the album are the Ravyn Lenae-featuring “Montego Bae,” and “Ace,” featuring Saba and Smino. But, truth be told, Room 25 sounds best when it’s just Noname and the funky rhythms she selected, with her spirit chock-full of hilarity and humility. (COMPLEX)

5. Quelle Chris & Jean Grae Everything’s Fine:

sometimes there’s nothing like a labour of love because Everything’s Fine brings two partners—who are formidable on their own—together for the tightest, freshest rap for the year.

6. Christine and the Queens Chris:

On her second album, Christine and the Queens’ Hélöise Letissier invents a new persona—the tough, in-your-face androgyne Chris—to challenge and question the things male rock stars get away with. Over sinuous new wave funk, Chris sings about paying for sex (“5 dollars”) aggressively pursuing pleasure (“Damn [what must a woman do]”), and shrugging off commitment (“girlfriend”)—the kinds of things that would be seen as “masculine” if you believed in that concept. “Some of us just had to fight/For even being looked at right,” Chris sings on “5 dollars,” summing up the way it feels when the world expects you to behave a certain way, but you just can’t play by their rules. And in 2018, that was a whole lot of us. (PITCHFORK)

7. Blood Orange Negro Swan:

Devonté Hynes is always on time. The multi-instrumentalist, producer, singer/songwriter consistently finds ways to synthesize the feelings and emotions of the moment to create something wholly original that manages to expertly comment on the goings-on of those who are a part of his generation. On his fourth album under the Blood Orange moniker, Hynes sets out to tackle black depression, the effects of his tumultuous upbringing, and the struggle of marginalized people merely existing the way they please. The songs reflect that and the times. Trans activist Janet Mock helps open the album on the contemplative “Orlando.” Diddy talks about hope returning and being brave enough to love on the smooth “Hope.” Like other Blood Orange albums, the music sounds like a perfected fusion of black pop music from the past and present. Negro Swan plays as the soundtrack for a time when black stars—and non-famous black folks—are working to carve out room to exist in the way that doesn’t deplete them. It’s right on time. (COMPLEX)

8. The Voidz Virtue:

completely forgotten by critics who have been quick to pronounce the death of rock but Virtue absolutely rocks everything down to the ground while having fun in the process. Casablancas has, at last, found the niche space between poking fun and delivering the goods.

9. Jenny Wilson Exorcism:

an album about rape could be very stoic but Wilson decides not to sacrifice her unique brand of humour or funk. And we’re all better for it.

10. Low Double Negative:

Digitally deconstructed with producer BJ Burton, the record’s electronic noise attempts to strangle the human voice. Static prevails and flickering tones are almost untraceable to the instruments that made them. As austere as Double Negative gets, the mournful harmonies of Mimi Parker and Alan Sparhawk keep it from ever seeming impenetrable. “It’s not the end, just the end of hope,” Sparhawk murmurs into the maelstrom. Call them slowcore if you must, but this is also pretty hardcore. (PITCHFORK)